As a parent to teenagers, I find it helpful to be clear with rules and consequences. For the past several years, I have updated a document entitled “Back to School Regimen” and posted it on our family bulletin board. The goal is to set them up for success for school and to minimize my frustration. By being clear about house rules and consequences of not meeting them, the household is more peaceful. Back to school transitions are eased since kids can easily reference the new regimen as it’s written down in black and white. Questions arise when I go over it individually with each child. Exceptions are brokered. (I’m trying to be realistic, not militant…)
Click the thumbnail to open the printable version of Family Rules and Expectations.
Family Rules and Expectations
Three Rules:
- Be where you say you are
- Obey the law
- Own your truth. (Don’t let me find out from someone else you’ve lied or have not followed the rules. Make decisions you are proud of. Be transparent.)
Overall Expectations:
- Don’t be a slob—bring down dishes, garbage, laundry
- Leave your room clean when leaving the house–bed made, clothes put away
- Be well groomed–brush hair and teeth before leaving the house
- Be an A student—it’s your job and will set you up for success in life
- Do homework before media—no missing assignments ever
- Push yourself—choose honors track, do more than the minimum
- Check in—meet with Mom weekly and discuss how things are going
- Make life fun—go to young life at church and/or find positive, uplifting, social activities
- Be healthy—eat, sleep, and exercise well
- Keep commitments—make decisions that demonstrate priorities, be clear with your agreements, ask questions if it’s unclear
Media:
- Netflix okay as long as you have no missing assignments
>>Consequences of late assignments on Friday at 4pm = no devices, no car, no media until turned in with proof to parent or from teacher/school
- If media is lost on the weekends because of missing assignments, you may earn it back by completing those assignments and having Mom or Dad go through it and verify that they are done with the requirement by 4pm Monday, it’s validated by school. NO REPEAT OFFENSES.
Bringing down devices:
- School nights: All laptops, phones, & iPads will be plugged in downstairs by 10:00pm (middle school), Wi-Fi turned off at midnight (high school)
>>Consequence = circled for 24 hours (if complain, devices will be taken also)
- Weekend nights: Bring down devices per above times only if assignments are missing
School mornings:
- Wake up on your own using an alarm clock
- Make your bed before going to school (optional but adds big deposits in the parent emotional bank account)
- Be “ready” to leave the house at 7:30 (middle school) and 8:30 (high school)
- Ready = shoes on, backpack closed, devices found, breakfast in process
>>Consequence of coming down late = no devices for 24 hours
- Leave the house at 8am (middle school) and 8:45am (high school)
- Leaving house = teeth brushed and eaten healthy breakfast
>>Consequence of leaving late = no ride to school, no devices for 24 hours
- NOTE: drivers bear the obligation to declare the night before when leaving the next morning, if not at 8:45
Grades/schoolwork:
- All As on report card earns a bonus stipend
Neatness requirements:
- Active projects are okay to be left out if they are neat looking (consider using a bin, for example.)
- Active becomes inactive clutter after 24 hours of no use and should be put away
- No food, dishes or garbage may be left out anywhere at anytime
- Locker: holding station for items to be put away, backpack and active projects
- Bathroom: no towels on floor, no trash/food, no clothes on the floor
- Bedroom: closet hung up, clothes folded, reasonable surfaces, floor “clear”, bed made
- Kitchen: clean hand wash, dishes in dishwasher, food put away
- Common areas/playroom: neat cushions, blankets folded, no stuff left out
>>Consequence=devices’ Wi-Fi paused until area is cleaned
